In a that appeared in The Federalist, managing editor Joy Pullmann noted parenting factors that she believes contribute to raising children who are stable, independent, and aware of the world in which they live.
She begins with the importance of responsibility, reaching back to her own experience when she had a friend, Nikki, whose parents believed in 鈥済iving kids their space.鈥 Pullmann was jealous when 鈥淣ikki鈥 received a car at sixteen, while her own parents made her buy her own wheels, insurance, and gas. As an adult, the author now realizes that accountability and responsibility have helped her in her own life. Pullmann writes, 鈥淜ids聽who learn聽self-control at an early age聽earn more money, achieve more in school, and have more satisfying marriages.鈥
Pullmann is also a great believer in parents saying 鈥渘o鈥濃攔espectfully yet firmly. Though seemingly counter-intuitive, saying 鈥渘o鈥 to children communicates that you 鈥渃are enough to step in and teach that child how to live.鈥 Again, Pullmann refers to Nikki, who came from a 鈥渨arm, well-curated, middle-class home.鈥 While attending to Nikki鈥檚 physical needs, her parents could have helped her more by sometimes playing the bad guys.聽 It鈥檚 not easy to say 鈥渘o,鈥 but children grow up where there are limits, they not only feel more secure but are 鈥渉appier because they do not have to live in emotional chaos.鈥
Finally, Pullmann counsels restraint. 鈥淢y parents were sugar police,鈥 she writes. 鈥淎nd they were screen police. We were lucky to watch two whole kids鈥 movies per week, and subject to serious limits on computer time once we finally got one.鈥澛 Setting limits will trigger comments from kids that their parents are unfair and old-fashioned, but there is a payoff. Pullmann writes that in adulthood she is at greater peace being satisfied with what she has, as well as appreciating more of what she has earned on her own.